


rebuilding us

by moffwithhishead



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Polyamory, cockles break up, filming season 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:49:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6591748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moffwithhishead/pseuds/moffwithhishead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen’s never been particularly good at impulse control. </p><p>It’s the only explanation he’s got for the director when they ask why he went off script and did that. Touched Misha’s face. Touched Cas’ face like it was something precious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	rebuilding us

**Author's Note:**

> so basically here's what happened: I was making a gifset the other day and I rewatched the scene in s8 where dean and cas find each other in purgatory and I remembered [this.](http://supermishamiga.tumblr.com/post/109290615682/so-this-fan-got-a-copy-of-spn-script-8x02) and I got sad and I started writing [cockles break](http://deansmom.tumblr.com/tagged/cockles-break-up-tag) up fic even though I can't talk about it without crying????
> 
> obviously this is all just speculation and stuff, I have no idea what happened after misha left spn. it's all tin hatting that's sad but hey, what can you do? I mean, jensen touched misha's face when it wasn't scripted?!?!
> 
> jmdv is implied but you should know by now in any cockles I write, it's always jmdv.

> 1.3k of post cockles break up s8 filming fic bc of a gifset I made and [this post](http://supermishamiga.tumblr.com/post/109290615682/so-this-fan-got-a-copy-of-spn-script-8x02). I’m sorry. ([ **ao3**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6591748))

Jensen’s never been particularly good at impulse control. 

It’s the only explanation he’s got for the director when they ask why he went off script and did that. Touched Misha’s face. Touched Cas’ face like it was something precious.

They yell cut and Misha immediately jerks back, eyeing Jensen warily.

They don’t say anything. Jensen wants to - he’s not sure what he should say. Beg for forgiveness? Tell Misha how sorry he is? Tell him that he’s missed him so fucking much over the break?

* * *

 

Misha saves him from any embarrassing word vomit and walks over to the tent where their phones and snacks are.

Jensen makes a frustrated noise and kicks a rock in front of him as hard as he can. It doesn’t do anything to make him feel better, but his toes sure as shit hurt now. 

Thankfully, nobody says anything about the awkwardness.

The crew remembers filming the end of season seven. Remarkably, this is an improvement. 

Ty looks curious but the director calls him over to give him a few tips and suggestions for the rest of the scene. Jensen uses that opportunity to walk around the corner, just to the other side of their set.

He fucked up. He knows that. He just has no idea how to fix it.

Danneel called Vicki because she wouldn’t answer Jensen’s phone calls or texts. She said to give Misha space and time and he’d probably come around.

 _Probably_. Jensen’s not good with ‘probably.’ 

He watches the river for a few minutes, trying to clear his mind. It’s harder playing this scene than it should be. This should be a walk in the park. It’s almost exactly how Jensen felt when he found out that Misha was coming back to the show. He even pulled Misha into a hug when he saw him on set again.

He’s lost for a moment thinking about that hug and how awkward it had been. How even Jared had asked if everything was okay between the two of them.

One of the PA’s pokes their head around the corner and tells Jensen that they need him back. 

He follows her and rubs at his wrist where his bracelet usually is. It’s in his trailer today. Danneel suggested leaving it off until things are better with Misha.

Misha’s standing on his mark again already in character. 

Jensen rolls his shoulders a little and lets Dean in again, feeling the ache in his chest that was already there grow even bigger. 

When they yell action Jensen keeps close to Ty, watching Misha at the riverbank with wide eyes. 

“Cas?” 

Misha’s so good at this. He stands up, looking at them with disbelief in his eyes, “Dean?” 

Jensen doesn’t hesitate and he doesn’t even have to fake the relieved laugh as he walks over and pulls Misha into a tight hug. He holds on longer than he should because he’s selfish and his impulse control still sucks. 

When he steps back he says the line in the script and brings his hand up without thinking.

Anybody watching would miss the way Misha flinches ever so slightly but Jensen sees it. He’s nothing short of tender in the brief contact and he can’t stop himself from making Misha meet his eyes when he says the next line.

“Nice peach fuzz.”

“Thank you.” 

The director yells cut one more time, says they think that’s the cut they’ll use but let’s do it again just to be safe. Do it the same way.

Misha doesn’t jerk away this time but he refuses to meet Jensen’s eyes as they make their way back to their marks. 

They do the scene again and Jensen holds on longer, lets his hand linger.

The only response from Misha is a slight glare when they call cut. Jensen’s okay with that. He can take it. He deserves it.

Strangely enough, that’s not the hardest part to film.

The hardest part is listening to Misha say Cas’ lines about leaving Dean to protect him from all the monsters and leviathans that want to kill him. Misha’s so good that Jensen catches himself getting a little choked up. 

He wonders if anybody notices how hard it is for him to keep his voice from cracking when he says his last line in the scene. 

“Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Understand?”

Misha looks at him, his eyes boring way too deep into Dean’s soul and nods.

“I understand.” 

* * *

 

“OKAY PEOPLE, THAT’S A WRAP. GOOD JOB GUYS.”

Jensen groans happily and lets his head fall back. He’s sitting in his chair while Ty and Misha finish their coverage.

Misha comes over first and ignores Jensen, grabbing his stuff from the table and taking off the trench coat when one of the wardrobe girls asks for it.

Jensen watches him because he’s the worst and he can’t help it.

“See something you like, Ackles?” Misha snaps as he yanks the dirty scrub top off and swaps it for one of his own t-shirts. 

He doesn’t rise to the bait. 

Instead he asks, “How’s Vicki doing?”

Misha stops for a moment and smiles a little private smile but his voice is still guarded when he answers, “She’s… good. She and Maison are home finally.” 

“That’s great.” Jensen smiles at him, “I bet she’s pretty damn cute.” 

Misha huffs, looking a little confused by this whole exchange, “I may be biased but I’d venture to say she’s the cutest child to have ever graced this earth.” 

Jensen barks a surprised laugh and throws his head back, his whole body shaking with it. 

Misha watches it happen, trying to pretend he isn’t. (Jensen wonders if the impulse control problem runs both ways.)

“Well,” he says finally when he’s calmed down, “I hope I get to meet her soon.”

It’s a bold move, one he’s sure could blow up in his face. 

Misha narrows his eyes at Jensen like he’s trying to figure out what exactly he’s doing. Like he’s got some big evil plan up his sleeve to break Misha’s heart again. 

“When she’s a little older,” is what Misha says finally.

Jensen stands up and claps a hand on Misha’s shoulder, offering him a warm smile. “I’ll be waiting with bells on, man.” 

Clif is standing at the top of the small hill motioning for Jensen to hurry the fuck up since he’s gotta get back to the lot to record some voice coverage. 

He really doesn’t want to leave. This is the longest conversation they’ve had in close to a year and he got Misha to smile.

“So…” It occurs to him mid-word that his hand is still on Misha’s shoulder and Misha’s watching him like he can’t decide if he wants to punch Jensen in the face or not. 

He pulls it away quickly and laughs, finally showing how nervous he is, “I… sorry.” 

Jensen clears his throat awkwardly, “I’m, uh - I gotta go apparently.” He gestures back towards Clif and glances at Misha again, “Okay. So, um.”

Misha’s obviously fighting a smile as he shakes his head a little, “Go, J. Before Clif tries to carry you to the car again.” 

His heart skips about three beats at the nickname and he feels a broad, goofy smile spread across his face, “Yeah.” Jensen laughs a little, feeling weirdly giddy at the small peace offering, “Yeah, okay.” 

He starts walking backwards and stumbles a little over a branch, “I’m - shit.” Jensen catches himself on one of the camera guys and apologizes profusely before looking at Misha one more time, “I’m just -”

Misha saves him with a salute before walking over to the director.

It takes Jensen a minute to make himself turn around and jog up the hill to Clif. He looks pissed but Jensen can’t bring himself to care that much. 

“We’re running late,” Clif grumbles as he hops in the front seat.

“It’s okay,” Jensen shrugs a little and buckles himself in, “Not by much.” 

Clif mumbles something under his breath about Jensen being an idiot and turns on the radio so they don’t have to talk. 

Meanwhile Jensen can’t stop grinning as he watches the trees pass them by on the way back to the lot.

Yeah. They’re gonna be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at deansmom
> 
> p.s. ......I may have confused which kid was born when. I'm human.


End file.
